Step into the shoes of a hapless delivery driver tasked with dropping off a mysterious package to the infamous Lady Dimitrescu. This short, tongue-in-cheek visual novel blends absurd humor with unexpected charm, inviting you to navigate her quirky mansion, crack wise under pressure, and maybe—just maybe—leave with more than just a tip. Perfect for fans of lighthearted parody and character-driven stories.
The Setup: A Delivery Like No Other
Forget routine drop-offs—this is no ordinary errand. Lady Dimitrescu’s estate isn’t just a house; it’s a labyrinth of oddities, from overstuffed bookshelves to a foyer that smells suspiciously like garlic and roses. Your mission? Hand over a package she “ordered” (though she’ll deny it) and survive the encounter with your sanity intact.
1. The Package Mystery: What’s inside? The game teases clues—a faded label reading “FRAGILE: DO NOT SHAKE,” a faint hum when you jostle it, and a post-it note that says, “Don’t ask.” Is it a rare artifact? A cursed relic? Or just a really fancy cake? The answer unfolds through your interactions.
2. Lady D’s Persona: She’s not what you’d expect. Tall, imposing, with a glare that could freeze lava… but also prone to sudden fits of giggles over bad puns or a well-timed compliment about her (surprisingly cozy) knitted slippers. Her mood swings—from intimidating to playful—are half the fun.
3. The Estate’s Secrets: Every room tells a story. A sunroom crammed with potted plants (one of which might be judging you), a study stacked with dusty tomes titled “How to Train Your Housecat (And Win at Chess)”, and a kitchen where a talking cat offers unsolicited life advice. These details turn the mansion into a character itself.
Choices That Matter (Even If They’re Silly)
Your decisions shape the vibe—from awkward small talk to full-blown chaos. No choice is “wrong,” but some will lead to… memorable outcomes.
1. Dialogue Dilemmas: Do you play it cool (“Just here for the package, ma’am”) or lean into the absurd (“Mind if I pet the cat? He looks like he judges my life choices”)? Lady D reacts dynamically—she might challenge you to a game of chess, offer you a suspiciously strong tea, or even invite you to stay for dinner (don’t ask about the meatloaf).
2. Package Handling: Will you hand it over straight away? “Accidentally” set it down near the cat (who immediately bats it under the couch)? Or try to peek inside (spoiler: it’s probably not worth it)? Each approach sparks a different reaction—curiosity, suspicion, or outright laughter.
3. The Exit Strategy: After the drop-off, do you make a quick getaway? Linger to chat? Or accidentally knock over a vase (and spend 20 minutes apologizing while Lady D tries not to smile)? Your exit sets the tone for the ending—whether you leave as strangers… or something closer.
Visual & Audio Flair: Nostalgic Meets Quirky
Kiva Sucks At Videogames (wait, no—Lady D - Delivery) leans into retro visual novel charm with a modern twist.
1. Art Style: Soft, watercolor-inspired sprites and backgrounds give the mansion a cozy, lived-in feel. Lady D’s design balances elegance and whimsy—think tailored blazers paired with mismatched socks, and a hairstyle that defies gravity (but somehow looks fabulous).
2. Sound Design: A peppy chiptune soundtrack plays during exploration, shifting to dramatic piano notes when you fumble the package drop. Voice lines (optional) add personality—Lady D’s dry wit sounds like a mix of Judi Dench and your sassiest aunt.
3. Easter Eggs Galore: Hidden in the mansion are references to classic delivery games, meme culture, and even a few very specific Resident Evil nods (don’t tell the lawyers). Finding them unlocks bonus dialogue and a “Behind the Scenes” art gallery.
Preview: